Day 87. Flower island. Flip flop, bang bang.

Anyone who's read 'Lord of the flies', or indeed, seen the film, will remember island life isn't always as idyllic as it's cracked up to be. A few days in splendid isolation and behaviour patterns of the weak-willed can start to become irrational.

Take Jan for example.

He came into breakfast this morning looking decidedly puffy eyed.

"Bad night's kip Jan?"

"Aye, I was up all night worrying about intruders"

Now bear in mind, we're on a small island miles from anywhere. Our new Swedish friends are the only other people staying here, and the staff comprises 4 diminutive Philippino girls who do the cooking and a couple of teenage lads who run the boats and take care of the odd jobs.

The only intruder anyone is likely to encounter is the occasional Gecko. And they're far more amusing than they are threatening.

"I'm telling you man, I got up for a pee and saw a shady character with a torch. He was flashing signals offshore - probably to a boat full of his dodgy mates".

He told us he was going to apprehend the bloke, but felt vulnerable with only a small towel covering his backside and genitals.

"Could have stabbed me or anything, didn't sleep a wink".

Turns out - of course - that the holder of the torch was one of the odd job lads on his security rounds. All he'd been doing was protecting the strapping 16 stone Mr.Mintowt from the scary vagabonds who live in his imagination.