Day 71. Malapascua Island, Philippines. Disco inferno.

Any journey through a new country is interesting, so despite the 4 of us plus luggage being squeezed into a small taxi the three hour drive to the northern tip of Cebu Island went pretty quickly.

Undoubted highlight was passing an open air Christmas disco which at 3 in the afternoon was jumping with hundreds of hot Philippino lovelies (not sure where all the blokes were - too cool to boogie I imagine).

Such were the screams of adulation as me and Jan made our entrance that for a minute I thought Robbie Williams must've sneaked in behind us. But no, a circle quickly formed as we stepped onto the dance floor and the tears of frustration as the poor girls realised we were already spoken for were genuine. After throwing some of our best moves for a minute or two, whipping the crowd into a sea of unrequited lust, we blew them a kiss and ran back to the taxi.

Donald the driver later put a pin in our inflated egos by explaining that tourists seldom visit the neighbourhood and it was merely the novelty of seeing a couple of podgy middle aged geordies that had caused such a commotion.

Silly of him really - if he'd told us they weren't used to seeing such handsome beasts he'd have been looking at a far bigger tip.