Day 50. Tapau via Butchers Pond

This region is where many of NZ's thermal pools are to be found. They're everywhere, and like the seals we came across earlier in the trip, you smell them long before you see them. A kind of lingering, sulphurous, stale-underpant whiff helping any curious tourist locate the nearest hotspot.

The crazy thing is, many of these suckers think nothing of shelling out $25 to have a guided tour of a pool. If only they could be arsed to do a little research, a similar sized stench trench could be at their disposal for absolutely nothing.



A Dutch couple we'd met on the South island tipped us off about Butchers Pond, a fantastically smelly sinkhole bequeathed to the nation by one of the early settlers.

Sure enough, a decent map and a bit of perserverence brought us to this geological gem. Not a soul was about, so it was undies off and straight in for a soak.

God, it felt good. All the heat of a sauna, but in the open air, with thousands of little gas bubbles tickling one's undercarriage as they rose to the surface.

Most pleasurable.

Day 49. Lake Waikaremoana. Trout-U-Like

Fell out for 15 minutes today as we motored across the Urewara National Park. I was happily nodding along to the guitar break at the end of 'I am the resurrection' when Wend said "goes on a bit doesn't it".

Gave her the silent treatment until she apologised.

Went on a couple of short, but impressive walks around Lake Waikaremoana. Firstly we made it to the top of Lou's Lookout. Not sure who Lou is/was but he/she certainly has/had an eye for a view. 1200 metres up, we had an uninterupted vista right across the Park.



We then tackled the far more sedate Tawa Loop, the highlight of which was a photo opportunity next to a giant 1000 year old Reta tree. Even older than Jan, but not quite as big.



Stumbled across a cracking Dept. of Conservation campsite right on the Lake shore where we had the great pleasure of meeting Martin the friendly fly fisherman. Not only did we share his newly landed, freshly smoked Trout, but he also insisted we get stuck into the seemingly never ending resevoir of red wine sitting in the boot of his car.



Much hilarity when he picked up this big, bitey insect claiming it looked vicious but was completely harmless. Moments later the thing sank its sizable incisors into his thumb. Don't know who was closer to tears - him, pretending he felt nowt, or me, acting all concerned.

Top bloke. We liked Martin.

Day 48. Mahia Beach. Topsy Turvy sunset.

Journeyed North again, this time to the Mahia Peninsula, a remote corner of NZ which sees few tourists (one other couple on our campsite).



We're in solid Maori country now, with European New Zealanders or 'Pakeha' definitely in the minority. As a nod to the locals we decided tonight would be the night we tried out our BBQ and boiled up some Kumara - an indigenous sweet potato.

Not bad either. But the honey-glazed lamb chops were still the star turns of our slap-up.

Witnessed a miraculous natural phenominan at dusk - the sun setting in the North. Either that, or the compass Joel and Bella bought us as a going away present isn't quite top of the range.

Day 47. Arataki Holiday Park. Bees and Deco.

Up early for a few lengths of the not-quite-olympic-size swimming pool. There's a sign next to the pool asking people to take a shower before bathing 'using soap and water and paying particular attention to your bottom'.

Love it. We're definitely staying another night.

Hiked up the 1000 metre Te Mata Peak in the morning. Commanding a spectacular view over the surrounding plains and Hawke Bay this sacred Maori site succeeded in both knocking and knacking us out.

Also had time to visit the Aritaki Honey Centre before lunch. This was more fun than you might imagine; they have a glass covered cross-section of a hive where you can spy on all the bee action. We then sat through a 10 minute bee movie, studied a poster depicting bee physiology and finally took our places for the big bee lecture.

Few people escape without buying some kind of bee paraphanalea from the gift shop. Wend included.

In the afternoon we went into Napier, a town famed for its many fine Art Deco builings. Much of the centre was wiped out in a big earthquake in 1931 meaning the subsequent years of rebuilding coincided with the period when Deco was all the rage.


Its great.

The main shopping areas and promenade remain largely unspoilt, my only gripe being the intrusion of contemporary signage at street level. The golden arches of MacBloodyDonalds causing particular offence.



Also enjoyed a round of crazy golf on the sea-front. After a storming start complacency set in and I almost allowed Wend to catch me on the back 9. Almost.

Day 46. Arataki holiday park. Hi-di-hi.

Bade the Fishers a fond farewell this morning and set off on the 5 hour drive up to Hawke Bay (3 hours in a car apparantly, but the van ain't no Aston Martin).

Most of the trip was through unremarkable farming country so we saw lots of sheep again and little of anything else. Necked a couple of commendable pies though in a little town called Featherston. Chicken and Veg for the missus, Mince and Cheese for me.

Slight reservations as to whether the latter combo belongs in a savoury pastry.

Found a charming campsite near Havelock North. I know 'charming' is a girly adjective, but it really does sum this place up. Designed and built in the '50s and obviously never added to or altered since. We kept expecting to hear someone announcing the start of the nobbly knees competition over the Tanoy.

Day 45. Wellington. To Te Papa.

Te Papa is THE must see museum in New Zealand. A vast building dominating the waterfront providing an inspiring, interactive look at the country's history and culture. Put together less than a decade ago for a cool 300 million dollars, John reckoned a day wouldn't be enough time to cover it's 6 floors and do it justice.

And he was right.

Among the many treasures is a huge collection of Maori artifacts; canoes, weapons, ceremonial garb and so on. These items are interesting enough in their own right, but when given context via the multi-media screens dotted throughout the building, they really come alive.

Other highlights included the earthquake simulator (Wellington straddles a less than stable fault line), a section dedicated to innovative kiwi design and an entire floor given over to how the early European settlers coped with various tribulations.

Other people's hardship always a winner in my book.

Went to the cinema in the evening. We had a split jury on the merits of 'Borat'. Me and John liked it, Wend thought it had it's moments, and Brandi hated it.

Bloke thing I suppose.

Day 44. Wellington. High art, giant slaloms.

Sam Taylor-Wood. Saviour of the british art scene or over-hyped media whore?

The easiest way for us to make a judgement would have been to attend the recent retrospective of her work while it was showing at The Baltic. A harder way, would be to miss it, blame each other for not being better organised, then catch the show after it transferred to the other side of the world.

The verdict? While some of her stuff went completely over our tiny little philistine heads, the majority of the work was great. We especially liked the 'Crying men' portraits - 27 candid shots of some of the world's most respected actors bubbling their eyes out. I'm sure there's all sorts of sub-text intended; 'the underlying vulnerability of the stereotypical macho male exterior' or some such twaddle. But we just thought they were nice pictures.

A couple of her moving image things were good too. The angel floating above a string quartet managing to amuse and mesmerise.

So yes, if the thing ever comes back to The Baltic, or somewhere in London for that matter, we'd recommend going.



Went back to Inia's in the evening where we met his cousin Simon. Another quirky character who, among other things is a proficient enough skiier to have represented NZ at a couple of Winter Olympics. He's retired from the sport now though, so it'll be downhill all the way from now on.